Cynthia M Chase

Hello, I decided to publish my notes in preparation for a presentation to those who are caring for someone who is ill, with Lyme disease, cancer, or any life-altering or life threatening illness.   The presentation will occur tonight, November the 5th at 6:30 at Bacchus Hospital in Norwich, Connecticut under the auspice of LymeLink.  I hope you will find it helpful and give you the support you need and deserve as you care for your loved one.  Since these are shorthand notes, if you have questions or want further elaboration, please blog or write!

• How do we really take care of ourselves, what does this really mean?

A.  Physical care for the caretaker

• A day in the (ideal) life
• Sleep – six to eight hours per day; create a sleep sanctuary, low electric magnetic frequency in room, no light, shades to keep out light, replace light emitting electronics, regular bedtime, natural bedding and covers, animals in the bed or room?, earplugs, (for you or partner, sleep apnea?)eye covers, cotton pajamas or no clothing, no TV in bedroom, no drinks after 6, dinner as early as possible, light dinner, heavier meal at lunch, warm shower or Epsom salt bath before bedtime, soothing CD to assist with relaxation, herbal tea to promote relaxation – not too late, melatonin, valarian, hops, liquorish, combination teas for sleeping, routine, calming ritual, foot bath/soak (Epsom salt), sit back on neck or back massager in chair
• Awakening – natural or alarmed? if alarmed, can it be soft, gradual? Or a combination of increasing natural light with carefully chosen music, hot-cold shower, glove scrubber, gentle, pure soap to reduce allergen challenge,  pure shampoos, other personal products, stretch neck in shower with hot water on neck, left and right, then forward (Yoga stretch), focus on stress and worry flowing down your body and down the drain – takes no additional time,
• Dry brushing with a natural bristle brush all over your body, all in the direction of your heart
• Neti pot – nasal lavage – 2 times per day to prevent colds, flu, sinus infections, nose bleeds, ear infections, etc.
• Frequent hand washing with warm water and soap (no need for anti-bacterial agents, can create rebound)
• Dental health critical – electric tooth brush preferred; regular dental appointments and cleanings
• Regular health check-ups
• Weekly or bi-weekly massage, Energy healing
• Daily moderate exercise at a regular time (15-20 minutes a day, at least three times per week); mix and match

1. Yoga – physical, emotional, spiritual practice – all encompassing life style
2. Walking – can be gently aerobic, easy on joints, can use iPod with uplifting music, mood elevating; running if conditioned, though this is potentially more dangerous
3. Biking (spinning classes)
4. Pilates – combination of Yoga and western type exercising – but be careful for pulling muscles
5. Swimming – excellent all over exercise; aqua classes are gently aerobic and strengthening as well as social
6. Jacuzzi, hot tub – toxin release
7. Sauna – toxin release
8. Steam room – toxin release – all are stress reducers

• Diet

1. Andrew Weil’s anti-inflammatory diet
2. Blood Type Diet
3. Drink ½ your body weight in ounces (if you weigh 120 lbs, drink 60 oz per day) – spring or filtered water
4. How much did you weight at age 20-25?  Was that your ideal weight?  Gradual restitution of body balance fosters the body’s self-healing
5. Focus on fresh, organic vegetables and some fruits – nurturing for the body, and detoxifying
6. Garlic, garlic, garlic
7. Focus on whole foods (foods that your grandmother would have recognized as food) – do you know what processed food is?  In my lifetime:  processed foods, genetically modified, chemicalized, denatured, dyed, bleached, enriched, stripped, hormone-fed, artificial fertilizers, artificial ingredients with names you can’t pronounce.  Read the labels, keep it simple and natural.  Introduce more raw foods into your diet – vita-mix and juicing; if our body does not “recognize” food substitutes, it turns to fat and cellulite (pollution)
8. Do not cook with aluminum pans; rather use cast iron or enamel covered pans
9. Use some Himalayan or Celtic seas salt:  provides micro-nutrients – composition is compatible with our body composition
10. Some animal and fish protein – organic and free range – very important.  Have less but of better quality – same money
11. Substitute natural sweets for white, cane, processed sugar; eliminate foods containing xxx corn sweetener xxx – molasses, local honey to reduce allergies, fruit, naturally dried fruit, 85% cacao chocolate
12. Moderate caffeine usage (excessive caffeine restricts blood flow to the brain, lowers cognitive function and can exacerbate emotional and mental health problems.)
13. Introduce green tea to promote focus, and enhance anti-oxidant function
14. Greens in powdered for capsule form helpful in detoxing
15. Moderate alcohol consumption of red wine with meals
16. Celebrate with each meal!  Candles at the dinner table, pleasant table talk, social time, or if alone, celebrate with yourself.

C.  Mental, Psychological, Emotional Care for the Caretaker

• The Dark Side:

1. My state of happiness depends on you; if you are well, then I will be OK
2. I love you
3. You matter more than me
4. I am unworthy of care and love
5. I am a function of giving
6. I do not honor my individual self
7. I am here for you
8. I am a machine; I can give unconditionally without regard to my own resources
9. I can do anything out of Love for you regardless of my own needs
10. I have no needs, it’s all about you
11. You first
12. Me last
13. I deny my exhaustion, pain, fear, need
14. I insist I can do this
15. I have no time for caring for myself
16. I am too busy, I have too much to do
17. Doing is more important than being
18. Love is a one way street, for now
19. My time will come, but I can’t think about that now
20. I numb myself in order to keep on going
21. I am helpless to heal you
22. I cannot control your illness, so I feel out of control
23. I want to fix you so you will feel better, then I will feel better
24. I am overwhelmed
25. I find myself compulsively engaging in pleasurable but dangerous behavior
26. I get irritable and tired, but I must ignore it
27. I feel like I am being used and victimized
28. No one is taking care of me and I resent it
29. I am sacrificing myself and no one even notices it
30. I don’t feel appreciated
31. I resent that others are not helping out
32. Why am I always the one that others rely upon?
33. Why do I have to do it all?
34. I am angry, but feel guilty about it
35. I shouldn’t be feeling what I am feeling
36. I love you, but now you are becoming a burden
37. When will it be over?
38. I want out
39. Guilt, guilt, guilt
40. I hate you
41. I hate myself for hating you
42. I should be a better person
43. I deserve punishment for being so mean, irritable and hateful
44. I don’t feel well
45. I am tired
46. I have pain and misery
47. I feel isolated and alone
48. I can’t tell anyone about these dark thoughts and feelings
49. If I did they would see through me
50. I would be rejected for the selfish person I am
51. I feel like giving up
52. Stop being a baby
53. Buck up
54. Get over yourself
55. I am hungry
56. I am tired
57. I want to disappear

• The Light Side

1. I love myself
2. I love you
3. I deserve time for myself every day
4. I nurture myself for me
5. I nurture myself so that I can share my love and care for you
6. I consciously work at balance in my life
7. I tune into my feelings and my body
8. I identify compulsive behaviors and begin a recovery program
9. I am aware of what defenses I use, and use them consciously as I need them, not automatically
10. I identify and express my feelings in a healthy, assertive manner
11. I avoid extreme and all or nothing thinking
12. I challenge rigid thinking and seek to expand my consciousness
13. I key into my body to check for somatic feelings so I can know what I am feeling
14. I recognize boundaries and maintain boundaries with others
15. I stop trying to control and fix others. I give less advise and fewer explanations
16. I treasure myself
17. I eat well, I exercise and relax every day
18. I honor the different parts of me: wife, husband, daughter, son, mother, father, aunt, uncle, colleague, student, friend, worker, chef, housewife
19. I honor the physical, mental, psychological and spiritual aspects of myself
20. I remember that I am larger than any one moment
21. I swim, walk, meditate, dance, pray
22. I get massages, energy work, other healing on a regular basis
23. I watch funny movies
24. I nurture my creativity
25. I remember what play is; I play
26. I learn to trust myself
27. I love you
28. I care for you
29. My cup floweth over and I joyfully share what I have with you
30. I say No so I can say yes
31. I talk to you (as appropriate) about my feelings and needs
32. I honor your strength and gifts and ask for your help in the ways that you can give
33. In so doing, that strengthens you
34. I confront you if you become abusive or irritable with me
35. I offer “in your face compassion” if that is what is needed
36. I protect myself from abusive and destructive relationships.
37. I focus on what people do, not what they say:  reality
38. Therapy helps at an impasse

D.  Spiritual Care for the Caretaker

1. I express gratitude for the gifts of life
2. I practice surrender to a higher power
3. I pray (talk to Spirit) and meditate (I listen to Spirit) daily – start out with just 5 minutes—up to 30 minutes
4. I walk the earth and feel connection with the force of nature, and accept solace from that connection
5. I practice living in the present, being here now
6. I practice compassion and forgiveness for myself and others
7. I open myself to intimacy and tenderness in my relationships
8. I practice the art of “seeing” the beauty in nature, art, music
9. I remember that this, too, will pass
10. I remember that I, and we are part of the whole
11. I surrender to Spirit and ask for help
12. I remember that I am not alone

Namaste,

Cynthia

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 12th, 2009 at 8:29 am and is filed under Musings.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.