The Difference between Counseling and Psychotherapy
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between counseling and psychotherapy? Although most people use the terms interchangeably, there is a difference, and that lies in the depth of the work.
Both address life challenges, but where counseling tends to take a practical, problem-solving approach, psychotherapy takes each challenge as a starting point to probe in greater depth into life patterns and possibilities for transformation. Whether you choose to see a counselor or a psychotherapist, you may find yourself looking at patterns in your life, encountering resistance to change within yourself, and reframing past experiences—or even how you perceive your own self.
Patterns and Habits
Patterns of thinking and behavior that we learned in our families of origin may need to be re-examined; after all, very likely the situation we are in today has different dynamics from that of our family-of-origin. What worked for us—perhaps even protected us or saved us then—may not be useful today. When you are able to move out of the past, you can become more present in the present! As you gain the tools you need in your life as it is now, life becomes easier and more joyful.
A Temporary Stumbling Block: Wanting—and Resisting—Change
Have you ever noticed that even though you want to change something—perhaps you want to change how you handle anger at your spouse, your child, or a friend—you seem to resist changing at the same time? You find yourself falling back into old habits—resisting the change you say you want. It’s human nature to develop and become attached to particular perceptions, feelings, and patterns of behavior. We want something to change, but we resist change!
Fear of the unknown, of how to change, or what might happen if we do, can cause us to resist needed change. However, sometimes old attitudes and behaviors begin to cause more pain than comfort. The good news is that you can use this pain as an opportunity to challenge the status quo, to take actions that will ultimately bring you greater happiness.
Taking a “Do-Over” on the Past!
When you are in the process of change, one useful tool is a process called “reframing,” that is, looking at old problems in new ways. Just as that old picture looks dramatically different when you put it in a new frame, so a new way of looking at or interpreting something can give you insight and open up new ways of relating and coping. This can even include finding a new way to look at yourself, because how you perceive and feel about yourself can help or hinder the process of reaching your goals. Reframing negative thoughts about yourself into kinder, more positive ones can be an important step towards how you’d like your life to be.
Counseling
In counseling, you learn to identify the real problem/s and clarify your goals. Clearly defining the issue/s and knowing what you truly want allows you to develop a step-by-step plan towards your goals. Counseling offers a concrete way of engaging constructively with life’s issues; the rewards are direct and palpable.
The first step—a true understanding of the situation—isn’t always as simple or as obvious as it sounds. For example, a child who is behaving badly may actually be responding to unresolved conflict between her parents. Of course, the child’s behavior needs to be addressed, but unless the parental conflict is resolved, the child will continue to “act out” as a symptom of the unacknowledged difficulties between the parents.
For an individual to sort out problems can be a complex process, and it can be even more complicated for a couple or a family. But by expressing your feelings and perceptions in a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental atmosphere such as counseling, you may begin to see what previously felt overwhelming or impossible in a new light. This process paves the way for action and change.
A counselor provides a safe environment where you can talk about yourself without distraction. As the counselor really listens to you, acting like a mirror that reflects your “self” back to you, you are able to see yourself and your life more clearly. In this clarity you find your way to the well-being that is inherent within your being. The reflection in the mirror becomes a true reflection of the light and life that is uniquely you.
Psychotherapy
In comparison to the direct and focused approach of counseling, psychotherapy is more like an archaeological dig. It can be a transformative process of self-discovery. As with counseling, the impulse that brings a client to a therapist is typically pain and a desire for change, but psychotherapy works to heal a woundedness that runs deep inside.
Although there are many different types of psychotherapy, one basic assumption is that childhood experiences have shaped many of our habitual thought and behavior patterns. Another assumption is that we tend to develop particular ways of getting along in the world, protecting ourselves, and coping that may no longer be useful and may in fact interfere with our happiness in the present. Often we simply don’t realize that the views and skills that once were crucial to our survival no longer fit our current life situation—we act as though we are still living with our family of origin.
A psychotherapist can help you to become more conscious of the circumstances that formed you, and to release the pain of the past so that you are free to be more fully present and open to positive possibilities in the Now.
Other Forms of Therapy
There are many other forms of therapy—interpersonal therapy, cognitive therapy, behavioral therapy (or a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy), biofeedback, body-mind therapies, and many more. Underlying all of these however, is the understanding that the individual, and often the family, is in pain, that something needs healing. Each approach offers its own protocol for that healing; you may find any given form helpful at different times in your life.
YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE
In both counseling and psychotherapy you can expect to find a dedicated listener and partner in your search for concrete solutions or a more profound transformation. You are not alone any more.
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